1)   My life’s priorities- “What drives my Life? What matters?”

2)   Energizing or re-vitalizing my life- “What creates Energy? What generates a sense of Aliveness?”

3)   Honoring my True Work- “What supports my Purpose?”

Once you have discovered these answers, you possess the pillars for increasing your performance potential and for progressing toward your aspirations, for fostering your authentic expression, and for finding meaningfulness and fulfillment in the various arenas of your life.

Values are our internal drivers of behavior. Values are what is underneath our choices/ priorities. When we are in a healthy state, it is our values which are instrumental in how we make decisions and in how we form relationships with others. We can call values the “why” of our behavior. When an action or activity is aligned with what we hold as important or core, our internal motivation naturally arises and we are moved to action. Contrarily, when we are stuck and out of action, it is often because we are not clear how the action or decision aligns to our values and we lack the motivation to act. We readily choose to connect, to be influenced, to engage, to perform and be our best self when doing so is an authentic expression of one or more of our core values.

Another definition of values is that which energizes us or that which generates energy. Values directly point to where we will put our energy and where we will experience a boost of energy or aliveness. In other words, when our actions/ choices support our values we feel alive. Not only do we have more available energy to accomplish tasks and initiatives, we feel more alive while accomplishing. Some call this being passionate or being on fire. For others, it is following one’s bliss and experiencing the energy of deep satisfaction.

Values can also put your True Work in the spotlight. Values point to what has our life be “a life worth living.” This sense comes from feeling we are “on track” or we are “being on purpose.”  When we have aligned our life according to our unique hierarchy of values, we feel congruent with our incarnation and purpose. It is being true to our values that supports us in expressing/ embodying our True Work.

Request taking a values instrument through your Executive Coach. Utilize the report as a springboard for coaching conversations on your values. Take a deeper look at who you really are and how to more fully express your authentic self.

Fehrunnisa Moore, Executive Coach with The McNeill Group, lives in the Silicon Valley area, California.

Dan McNeill

When we were kids, most of us had great fun taking vacations with our families.

Many of those memories last a lifetime. In my case, with nine brothers and sisters, vacations were difficult for my folks to plan because of both the size of our family and the challenges associated with a 16 year age range. Their solution often enough was to arrange for us to enjoy vacations in groups, but one way or another they saw to it that we had opportunities to shake up “life as usual” once in a while.

I was lucky enough to have two very memorable vacations as a youngster. One was unique and special partly because I was the only one who got to go. To this day I don’t know why I was chosen but I do know it wasn’t as a reward for good conduct.  In this vacation my grandmother, who worked as a waitress at Marshall Field’s in Chicago and was called “NaNa” by all of us, took me to St. Augustine and Daytona Beach, Florida.

We took a Greyhound bus both ways. With the added perspective time provides, I marvel at NaNa’s tenacity and long suffering. Nonetheless, everything for me was exciting and new, surprising, and sometimes even shocking.

I will never forget my shock and surprise upon encountering bus stations with separate restaurants, bathrooms and drinking fountains for “whites and coloreds.” I believe this experience, combined with my parents’ teachings, is what instilled in me a passion for racial tolerance and acceptance.

Other events from that trip have formed sweet and lasting memories. From the time passed at beautiful Daytona Beach to the several day stay at the home of NaNa’s friend, Dobina Jalbert, it was all new, exciting and memorable. Although I know that Mr. Jalbert, inventor of the Jalbert Wing or Parafoil, explained his invention to me in some detail, I remember being much more interested in the monkeys he kept on his acreage in Boca Raton.

The other trip I remember was with my parents, my three oldest siblings, and our friend, Bob Schiller. We left the younger kids at home with a nanny and took off in a metal “Woody” station wagon, so filled with luggage in back that two of us had to travel lying on top of the suitcases. Once we figured out how to pad this bed, it became the most sought after location during our travels.

During this wonderful two week, 5,000-mile trip we drove across the plains to Denver, then up into the mountains through Rocky Mountain National Park where we had a snow ball fight on the 4^th of July. From there we drove to Santa Fe, New Mexico, and to Flagstaff, Arizona to visit friends of my folks. Bottom line, we had an unforgettable time.

Why do I write about personal vacations in an article for a business newsletter targeted primarily at people in the world of business?

The answer in part is that my father was an executive in just such a company. In fact, while he was with the company, it grew from $400 million in sales to over $20 billion and, as I recall, was listed as a Fortune Top 20 by the time he retired. And he took the time, with my mom’s help, and often insistence, to see that we had memorable vacations which strengthened us individually and as a family.

My parents’ commitment to vacation time has recently been verified by research by Ramon Zabriskie, a family leisure researcher at Brigham Young University, who found that sharing leisure time improves family cohesion and adaptability. Cohesion refers to the level of emotional closeness in a family, while adaptability refers to a family’s ability to handle everyday and unexpected stresses and strains.

As executive coaches, we know from the experience of working with our clients that strong family life also pays off in the workplace. We strongly urge our readers to take advantage of vacation time to strengthen their families and thus their successes at work. Additionally, as leaders, we strongly urge you to see that those whom you lead and manage take their vacations … for the sake of themselves, their families, and their work!

Dan McNeill, Master Certified Coach, has been the CEO of The McNeill Group since its founding in 1996. He resides with his wife and near two of his grandchildren in Lantana (Dallas Area), TX.

Jane Lawson

Most of us were and still are instructed in Time Management courses as part of the skills required to juggle the myriad activities in our complex, day-to-day lives.

Personally, I’m a Day Runner graduate. I became adept at filling in all the waking hours of my day. Since I wasn’t originally taught to allow for interruptions, breakdowns, higher priorities – you know, LIFE – I just worked faster and longer hours to keep up. My perpetual complaint was that “there aren’t enough hours in the day.” I continued to cram everything into twelve hours a day, wondering why I never felt complete and, more often, felt exhausted.

Sound familiar to anyone?

This takes me to the debunking part.

Have you noticed that as a culture we tend to create distinctions that don’t always say what we mean? And since a great majority of our lives are managed through the language we use, is there any wonder we have difficulty communicating with each other and creating a framework for workability with our time?

The “Aha” moment for me was realizing that “time management” was a misnomer. As much as I wanted, I could not “manage time.” Twenty-four hours in a day. Seven days in a week. You get the picture.

At that time I was introduced to the distinction and skill of commitments management. While I cannot manage time, I can take responsibility for the commitments I make for my time.

Commitments management requires me to look at the whole of my life commitments first and create space on my calendar for those personal priorities.

Secondly, it requires that I look at the reality of time that each commitment takes before I accept (or make a new commitment to) a request for that time.

Thirdly, it requires that I pencil in anticipated “think time” and “work time” on my calendar for each commitment.

Last, but not least, commitments management requires that I learn the art of renegotiating my time commitments when unexpected changes come into my life.

The outcome: When I follow the steps of commitments management, it forces me to look at the reality of balancing commitments with the priorities of my life. In so doing, I am far less stressed and far more content with my accomplishments.

I still use my monthly calendar hard copy to keep my appointments at a quick visual on my desk. Old habits die hard.

Jane Lawson is a Master Certified Coach and resides in The Woodlands, Texas

Bill Bennett

Have you met “JOE”? We each have a “JOE” within us – actually, many “JOEs”. Our view of “the way things are” is our truth. It is our paradigm, our framework for viewing the world, and it shapes our actions. Within our paradigm are Judgments, Opinions and Evaluations, or “JOEs.” We form judgments about our boss, our team, our customers – about EVERYTHING. Our task is to identify our JOEs and their sometimes hidden role in our decision-making, and the key is to manage them.

Which JOEs are producing the results you intend? Keep them. Which ones are producing undesired or unwanted outcomes?

My boss is a jerk.

My wife talks too much.

I am no good at making presentations.

These are examples of JOEs which are likely to undermine the desired results: An effective working environment, a solid, mutually respectful marriage, a powerful presentation.

Perhaps as you read this you are thinking, (or should I say “judging” or “evaluating”?) “But you don’t know my boss (or colleague or customer); he/she really IS a jerk!” Perhaps. But that is not the point.

Your goal is to be effective and produce results, ideally, outstanding results. This requires first identifying, then acknowledging, and finally managing your JOEs.

Are you somehow “JOE-free”? Are you completely free of Judgments, Opinions and ­Evaluations? It is simply human nature to have and use our JOEs to navigate our way through life. It is not a bad attribute. Without the ability to determine what is fair vs. unfair, good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, safe vs. unsafe, life would be difficult, if not impossible. So, then, JOES are good? Mostly, yes. The key is to be aware of ALL your JOEs and to determine which of them are producing the results you truly want.

There is something seductive about believing OUR JOEs to be true. We love to be right. We have evidence to support our JOEs. I would suggest that we go through life seeking evidence to support our JOEs. Not a bad thing. Simply a human thing.

Think of the power that some of your JOEs have in shaping your life in a positive, desirable way. Which is a better paradigm for a man who values an effective and productive work environment – “My boss is a jerk,” or “My boss has high expectations and is anxious that our team succeeds”? Both JOEs are invented by you. Which has the power to undermine what you say you want (being effective at work)? Note: Listen to that internal voice lobbying “But, he IS a jerk!!”

Tip: Choose the result you want and manage your JOEs accordingly.

Bill Bennett is Chief Operations Officer of The McNeill Group. He resides in Berkeley Heights, NJ.